Bleeding for Revenge
by Sheyliegh
Summary: Severus is in his fourth year at Hogwarts. Depression has swept over him. He goes through persecution and constant teasing from the Marauders. Not to mention his relationship with his beloved Remmy. R&R. PLEASE REVIEW! I will love ya forever! :-D
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This has nothing to do with any of my other Snape stories. None of these characters belong to me, they all belong to JKR   
  
and I am making no money off of any of this. R&R, and enjoy my melancholy writing.   
  
***  
  
  
  
Severus Snape sat in the Slytherin common room all alone. It was well past midnight, and he was relieved to be alone.  
  
He didn't feel like the burden of company at this moment. The cold stone floor stung his arse, and the cold stone wall which   
  
he was seated against, was cold as well. The fire place was lit, but it didn't seem to bring any warmth with the light that   
  
flooded the room.   
  
Everyone else was in bed. And he was grateful for that. He needed his thinking time. The small trickle of blood fell   
  
down his wrist. Above it lay one lonely cut. In his other hand was a peice of glass that had come from the mirror of which he   
  
broke in the boy's bathroom. He looked at the blood which kept emerging. The red was such a contrast to the white of his   
  
skin. He had always had a pale complection. It seemed pretty to him, in an odd sort of way. He took the glass and did it   
  
again. Slice.   
  
Tears fell onto his arm, mixing with the blood. It fell down his arm and onto the floor. He needed a way out. A   
  
savior. But he had no one. No one at all.   
  
***  
  
The quidditch feild lay under rays of golden sunshine which had managed to peek out from the clouds that had been   
  
there that present morning. It was Saturday, and most of the students were hanging around the castle with one another. But   
  
Severus sat here. While the other fourth year students were probably sitting in the common rooms or walking through the   
  
corridors, he sat here in the cold December weather. Just staring straight ahead, he started to think about the night before.  
  
He looked to his wrist, pulled up his sleeve, and looked at the red cuts that lay there.   
  
He inhaled deeply, and ran his fingers over the cuts. It had been a bad night. He hadn't cut that much in at least a   
  
month. What drove him into such a madness? Everything. He had a very painful history, and even a painful life now. He was a   
  
fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had very few friends here. He had been friends with a very odd   
  
Gryfindor boy named Remus Lupin. But he had become friends with a crowd that did not approve of Severus.   
  
Not only have Remus been a friend, but almost like a love to him. Night after night they would be together, they   
  
would spend nights under the stars holding onto one another. Severus closed his eyes and remembered their first kiss. It   
  
had been Severus' first ever kiss. The silkyness of Remus' lips was obvious. At first Severus was a tad bit frightened   
  
because he knew that his friend was a werewolf. But he also knew that he wasn't due for another transformation for a while   
  
yet.   
  
Opening his eyes once again, he looked onto the wet quidditch feild. It only reminded him of the evil boys Remus had   
  
come to befriend. The Marauders, they called themselves. A bunch of little bastards that spent all of their free time coming   
  
up with ways to torment Severus, and then doing it. Remus would stand to the side and only watch with a look of sympathy in   
  
his eyes. But if he cared for him, why wouldn't he stop them from doing it?  
  
A noise came from behind Severus. He turned to see the origin of it. But there was nothing there. Right then, someone   
  
grabbed him from behind. It took two of them to hold him down, but they were able to do it. Between those two, they carried   
  
him to the Gryfindor locker room. Severus knew what was coming next. This was their all time favorite game.   
  
The two boys, Sirius Black and James Potter, shoved him down onto the cement floor on his stomach. Severus tried to   
  
fight, but knew that he never won. They always did, and always got what they wanted. One by one, the two of them took turns.   
  
James first this time, and then Sirius. The other two just stood by watching- Peter Pettigrew and somewhere nearby he was   
  
sure, Remus. It hurt. Not just psychologically, but physically. Pain. That was all that he could focus on. He tried to bring   
  
his mind to something else, but couldn't.   
  
When the both of them were finished with their little "game", they left him lying there. This was normal of course.   
  
This wasn't anything new to him. Remus, as they were leaving, bent down to look Severus in his face. The pain was visible in   
  
his face. He bent over and kissed Severus' sweat covered forehead, then left with the others.   
  
Laying on the floor, he stayed there for a while. At least an hour, he figured. He was unable to move. He hated them.   
  
He hated himself. He hated everything and everyone right at that moment. Finally, after talking himself into it he, he go   
  
himself to stand up. It hurt, but he was used to it.   
  
He skipped dinner that night. Instead he sat in the common room. There was once again, no one around. He took up his   
  
bag and felt around inside for something he knew he would be needing by the end of the night- the glass. Taking books and   
  
spreading them across the table, he began to study. He wrote his Transfiguration essay fluently without stopping once. When   
  
he was finished, he looked up and out the window. It was dark out. There were no stars. The moon stayed hidden behind the   
  
returning clouds. The common room was loud, with sounds of laughter and gossip. But Severus heard none of it. He heard the   
  
Marauder's chuckling, their sounds of relief, their pleasure. Suddenly he found himself enraged. This was it. He could tell.   
  
Taking his peice of mirror with him, he went to the boy's bathroom. There was only one other boy in there. A tall   
  
and lanky sixth year Slytherin. But he was gone soon enough. The blood would flow again tonight- maybe for the last time.   
  
The sharp material slid across the boy's arm and droplets of blood formed there. He wasn't satisfied. He did it over and over   
  
again, finding it hard to stop. Finally the glass fell to the floor. His knees gave way and he fell, kneeling now on the   
  
floor. He had hit the vein.   
  
A chuckle came from his lips. This was it. He could tell. He was done with. He took the glass back up and brought it   
  
to his other wrist. Slice, slice, slice. Eventually he hit that vein as well. Now, he was satisfied. He picked himself up and   
  
walked. He walked towards where the portrait of a fat lady hung, concealing the Gryfindor common room. After only standing   
  
there for a few minutes, someone came out. Another fourth year, named Lily Evans. "Can you please send the Marauders out   
  
here?"  
  
Lily gave a curious look, but turned to go back in. Within a few minutes the five of them appeared. Lily left them   
  
alone, no doubt probably heading to the library. James had a smirk across his face, and Sirius tried his best to keep a   
  
straight face. Remus wore no expression. "Come back for more did you?"  
  
"No. I came here to show you something." It was becoming hard to stand. The blood was running down his hands and   
  
dripping to the floor. Peter was the first to notice anything. He pointed it out to the others. "Holy shit! What is that?"  
  
Remus walked forward and grabbed Severus. He took his arm and pulled up his sleeve. Getting blood over him too, he   
  
looked at the sliced wrists. Suddenly the light-headedness took ahold of him, and Severus fell to the ground with Remus   
  
still holding onto him. "Severus. What did you do?"  
  
"This is it Remus," he said in short breaths. The others looked worried. None of them moved. "You four put me through   
  
hell. But none of you hurt me more than you did, Remus. I loved you."  
  
Tears started to blur Remus' vision. He looked at his dying friend. There was no doubt that he was going to die from   
  
blood loss. He put his arms around him and rested his head against Severus'. "I'm so sorry Sev. I love you. I really do."   
  
Remus looked Severus in the eyes and kissed him one last time.   
  
Severus felt the warmth of Remus' lips and just wanted to die then, because he knew he could probably never have it   
  
again. He tasted good. Better than the last time. Guess the waiting had made it seem that way. Everything then went black.   
  
***  
  
A week later, Severus woke up in the hospital wing. His head hurt. He wasn't dead. He was still alive. "Damn it," he   
  
whispered as he laid his head back on his pillow. "Damn it." 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I hadn't been planning on carrying on with this, but I decided to. However, slash isn't my normality. And honestly, I don't know where to take the story from here. So if you have any good ideas, feel free to share them! Of course I will recognize you and give you some credit for the ideas. Please help a writer suffering from writers block? Please?  
  
Severus walked down the corridors. It had been a few weeks since his last run in with the Mauraders. And honestly it seemed to him as if they were avoiding him. Friday he had double potions with them after lunch. Maybe they would leave him alone. But then again, they hadn't done so the past four years. Why would it be any different this time?  
Friday after lunch, Severus made his way to the dungeons. There was no sign of the famous four. Perhaps they were late. Perhaps they were early. Any way, it didn't matter to him, as long as he didn't have to interact with them. What would he do if they were to speak to him? Surly after that night with his attempt at suicide, they had some really good come-backs for him. Surly they had some good remarks to get him with.  
Walking into the classroom, Severus saw no one else present. Wait. No, there was some one in there. Sitting at a far desk was Remus. He was sitting on the desk itself, with his head down as if he was in deep thought. Severus walked into the room, quietly as he could and took a seat at a desk towards the back. He was surprised to see that the rest of the troublesome group was absent from Remus' presence. As he sat down, the seat squeeked somewhat, making Remus look up. "Severus. I was hoping I could have a word with you... alone."  
Severus looked back at him without any expression on his face. "It's just..." He got up and walked over to Severus. "I miss hanging out with you, you know?" He sat on the desk that Severus was sitting behind. "Can we... can we maybe talk sometime? I mean, students will be here soon. And I want to be able to talk to you alone. I mean... really alone."  
Severus wanted so badly to just yell out "yes" but thought better of it. He was so desperate for a friend. He truly was. But he didn't want anyone knowing that. Truth was, he missed Remus so badly that it couldn't be described by words. He slowly nodded. "If you must." A smile came across Remus' face, he leaned down, kissed him quickly on the cheek, then jumped down off of the desk, and went back to his own. Severus reached up and touched the spot on his cheek which seconds before, those soft lips had touched once more.  
Just then students, Slytherin and Gryfindor alike, began to file into the classroom. James, Sirius, and Peter appeared soon and took their seats next to Remus. Once all the students were in and the bell had rung, the teacher entered. Remus turned in his seat to look back at Severus. There was a longing in his eye. A longing that Severus had felt for such a long time.  
  
The night was black. It was late. Somewhere around midnight. It was a good thing that it was a Friday night, meaning no classes the next day. Severus sat at the edge of the lake, waiting for Remus. They had made the arrangements quickly after dinner earlier that night. They were to meet around midnight at the lake. That was... if the two could manage to get away, without being caught either by peers or teachers.  
A twig snapped from somewhere behind Severus, but he did not move. Within seconds a second figure took it's seat next to Severus. The crescent moon sone down upon the lake, reflecting onto both boys' faces. "Talk," said Severus with neither emotion or looking at Remus.  
"Listen, I'm sorry." He took his hand and put it ontop of Severus'. "I don't know why they do what they do to you."  
"And you've never stopped them, or at least tried to?"  
"I'm sorry Severus. I havn't. Why would they listen to me? James is the leader of the group. Whatever James wants, James gets. It's as simple as that." After pausing a while, Remus began to rub the top of Severus' hand and then moved up, rubbing his arm as well. Severus knew what was coming. "How are you doing?"  
Severus looked at him. "Honestly, I thought that you would know."  
Remus looked as if he felt foolish for ever asking. Taking his hand, he grabbed Severus' arm softly, brought it up so he could see it better in the moon light, and raised up his robe sleeves. There were scars. But they lay under freshly made cuts. "When did you do those?"  
"Last night."  
"Severus look at me." He turned not only his head, but his body towards his former friend, listening intently. "You don't have to do this. You shouldn't do this. It's not good, Sev. Please. This may be a stupid question, and it may seem absurd, you may not want to answer, but why?"  
"Why? Because of what your friends have put me through. Because of what my parents put me through. Because of what you put me through." He stopped there. He wished to go on no more. If Remus didn't know what he was talking about, he didn't deserve an explanation.  
Reaching out, Remus embraced his friend in a hug. He rubbed his back. Slowly, Severus felt himself becoming unglued. He knew it was a matter of time before he was blubbering all over Remus' shoulder. He had always had a way to make him break down. And he also always had a way to make things seem fine again. "I'm so sorry. Please, believe me. I'll tell them to lay off. I just never thought that it would drive you to what you did." He pulled away from the hug, and brushed Severus' shoulder length black hair out of his face, and looked into his black eyes.  
Severus, looking back into Remus' amber eyes, could never remember feeling so happy, yet sad at the same time. "I'm back Sev. And I don't intend on leaving you again. I love you. And I always will." He brushed his nose against Severus' and closed his eyes. The two embraced in a hug once more, and Severus began to cry on his shoulder.  
"I love you Remmy. Why did you leave me?" he sobbed.  
"I don't know.... I don't know...." The two both were crying now, holding onto each other, not wanting to ever let go.  
They stood and walked to the forbidden forest. They would stay in there for the night, in each others arms, crying, and talking until the sun came up.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to risi for the ideas for this chapter! :-) Thanks!!! Your review really made me think of where I want to take Severus in this story.  
  
Severus was sitting at the Slytherin table at breakfast early on Monday morning, after his night with Remus on Friday. Where was he anyways? "Probably up in the dorms trying to get more sleep. Slacker..." But just as Severus thought that, he saw a familiar face striding into the great hall, surrounded by his 'friends'. James was looking extremely cocky this morning, which worried Severus somewhat. It couldn't be good.  
But he did not acknowledge Severus at all, and went and sat with Sirius, Peter, and Remus at they're regular seat at the Gryfindor table. All four of them seemed to be indulged into a conversation that had obviously been started before even reaching the great all. "Good. As long as they're busy talking, they won't have to come over here and say or do anything to me," thought Severus. After a few more minutes, and finishing his breakfast, Severus pushed his plate away from him, grabbed his bag, and made a move to get to Herbology. But as he turned the corner at the entrance hall, he was stopped.  
There stood Albus Dumbledore. "Severus. Dear boy, I was wondering if there was any chance of getting you into my office for a word or two this morning?" Severus looked up at him, unable to talk, and nodded his head. He knew what this was about. And he really didn't want to have to talk with the headmaster.  
In the headmaster's office, pictures lined the walls of previous headmasters and mistresses. "Please, Severus, take a seat," said Dumbledore indicating a seat that was in front of his desk. The older man took his time to get behind his desk and took a seat. He leaned his elbows on the desk, and peering over his folded hands at the boy. "How are you, Severus?"  
"Fine." It was a blunt, and truthful question in Severus' view.  
"Just... fine?" Severus stopped and thought a bit. Of course he wasn't fine, but he wasn't about to let him know this. "Severus, after what happened the other night, I just want to make sure that you won't be trying anything like that again. Will you?"  
He wanted a truthful answer? Fine, then he'd get it. "Possibly"  
"Possibly? So is that a good possibility?"  
"Yes."  
The old man sighed, and brought his eyes down to his desk, and then up into Severus' eyes. "Do you want to tell me what is causing you to be so upset, what is making you want to take your own life? Because, there's nothing that's worth that."  
"Yes there is."  
"Tell me about it then, Severus. I want to know. I want to help."  
The boy shook his head. "Headmaster, if you don't mind, I'm going to be late for Herbology. And if I'm not mistaken, we have a test today."  
"Yes. You're right. Go on then. But listen, if you ever need anything, you can come to me, alright?" Severus nodded, and then took his leave quickly.  
  
The day's classes went on uneventfully. The mauraders stayed to themselves, not messing with Severus at all, whether it be in the classroom or in the corridors. Perhaps Remus had had a talk with them? Or maybe they were just afraid that the teachers were keeping a closer eye on him, and picking on him would be too risky because they could catch them. Whatever the reason, Severus didn't care. As long as they stayed away. He wasn't in the mood for putting up with them. He was stressed. Between school and everything with the Marauders to worry about, he was becoming stressed. Homework kept him busy- very busy. It seemed like all the teachers were amusing themselves trying to see how busy they could keep their students. Defense Against The Dark Arts was extremely troublesome. The professor was setting an assignment almost every class. But Severus had to admit, he couldn't help but enjoy the one on vampires. That happened to be quite interesting.  
Walking back to the Slytherin common room after dinner, Severus was locked inside his head in deep thought. He was trying to remember what his book had said about vampires and the many ways they could be killed. "Stakes, crosses, gralic... um..."  
"Hey Snivelous! Reminding yourself what to stay away from?" Severus turned to find Sirius Black rounding the corner.  
"What do you want Sirius? I'm tired, I've had a long day, and I just want to go to the dorm, do my homework and go to bed. So make this quick."  
"Aw... Severus. I'm sorry." He walked up to him, making the smile stay on his face. "I want to only ask a little favor of you..."  
"What?"  
Sirius was close enough that he suddenly grabbed the front of Severus' robes in a bunch, and brought him up to his face. "Don't ever, ever, touch Remus again. Do you hear me? He's mine. And you are mine. Do you understand me?"  
"I am not yours. And I never will be."  
"You are mine if I say you are. For the past year, you have given me what I've needed whether you gave it to me or not. And you just have to deal with that. Your "lover" on the other hand, he gave it to me because he wanted to. I know about your little moonlit stroll the other night. Make sure it never happens again, do you hear me?" He pulled him even closer, and Severus could feel him breathing on his face.  
"I will not listen to you, Sirius Black." It was then that James then came from around the corner and into view.  
"Severus, Severus, Severus. I don't think you realize what you are getting yourself into, if you don't cooperate."  
"I am not scared of either of you."  
"You oughta be," spoke up Sirius once more. "Stay away from Remus, or you'll really get it."  
"No." Sirius hit him. Simple as that. A punch came flying and hit him square in the face. Sirius went down with him, on top of him, continuing to punch him. James stood by and watched, laughing. There was nothing Severus could do. He tried to get him to stop, but it would be hard. He tried to hi him, but found it hard, seeing how much smaller he was than the other boy.  
Finally James spoke up again. "Sirius leave him. Come on, quit it before someone comes along and sees. He's not worth the energy anyways." Sirius listened to his friend, got off top of Severus, and began to walk away after spitting on the small beaten boy which lay on the ground.  
  
"Severus! Oh my God! What happened?" It was another fourth year Slytherin named Sheyliegh.  
"Nothing," he grunted as he walked out of the great hall. It was now Tuesday morning, and Severus' face had swollen up, and a black eye was left from the beating the night before. He felt sore all over. He would have gone to the hospital wing, but he knew that if he did, he would have to explain. And he didn't want to do that out of fear that it would piss off James and Sirius and they would try it again, or something else even. So he tried to ignore the stares he was getting, and he continued to Transfiguration.  
Sitting in his desk, half way though the lesson, Mcgonagal walked up and down the aisles collecting homework. She stopped when she got to Severus, but after looking at him, continued to walk. When she got back to the front of the room, she gave instructions to the class. "Please open your books and read from page 389 through 412." She would have sat back down at her desk to peer at the students over her spectacles like usual, but she looked back to Severus. "Mr. Snape, will you please follow me?" Severus stood and followed her out of the room. "Severus, I must ask, what happened?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, why is your face all swollen, and your eye bruised?" The boy shrugged. "Come with me." She walked through the corridors at a brisk pace, but Severus was able to keep up because of his long stride. He knew where she was taking him. She was taking him to see the headmaster. Now he was going to get it from the Marauders. If he snitched, he would really get it.  
  
"Come in," said Dumbledore from within his office. Mcgonagal entered with Severus right behind her.  
"Headmaster, I think that you need to speak with young Mr. Snape here." She moved out of the way, so that he would be able to see his face. There was no sign of surprise on his face, but an expression of pity lingered there.  
"Thank you Minerva." And with that she left and went back to her classroom.  
"Please, Severus, have a seat." He did as he was told, and sat in the seat he had only been in the previous day. "Son, who did this to you?" The boys small figure merely shrugged, indicating that he either didn't know, or didn't want to say. His eyes stayed fixed on the carpet. He didn't want to meet the head master's eyes. "Was it other students?" Slowly, Severus nodded. Dumbledore sighed.  
"Remus Lupin came to me in great concern yesterday morning right before breakfast. He is rather concerned about you. He said there were some things going on because of some students that was bothering and maybe hurting you. He wouldn't say who though." The old man once again peered over his glasses. "What do they do to you Severus? Just beat you up like this?" He wasn't going to say. He didn't want to say. "Severus, please. If you tell me what is going on, I can stop it." He shook his head. He didn't want to speak. "Whatever it is, Remus is worried about you. I think you have a real friend there. Don't let him go. I wish that you would tell me what it is." He stopped and thought a minute. "Are they the reason that you..."  
Severus nodded. "I could use a truth potion on you to get it out of you, but I won't do such a thing. It would be too cruel. However, if and when you wish to speak about it and get something done about it, come to me. Okay?" The boy nodded again. "I'm here if you need me to be." He nodded again, and left his office to find that the classes had been dismissed. He had study hall next. He could blow it off and walk the grounds. It would do him some good to walk around and get some fresh air. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Severus we have to talk." Remus had pulled Severus to the side of the hallway while students walked by not noticing them. "Who did this to you?"  
"What are you talking about Remus?"  
"What am I talking about? The bruises on you face! What do you think I'm talking about? Who did it?"  
"No one." Severus turned and tried to leave. But he knew that his stubborn friend would not give up so easily. He knew that he would follow him, bugging him to tell until he finally broke and did so.  
"Who was it? Tell me please." He sped up and got right in front of Severus to stop him in his tracks. "Look at me." Severus did so reluctantly. "Was it them? Was it... well.... James and Sirius?" Remus whispered.  
"Remus, listen. I will say this and this only. We can't be seen together. We have to stop this. We can't be hanging around each other any more. At least not where any one can see us. Alright? Now I have to go if you don't mind. I have to get to study hall." Severus walked off Remus as he stood there dumbfounded.  
He knew that it was James and Sirius. He wished that he had the courage to confront them about it, say something to them, stand up for himself and for Severus. But he knew that his "friends" would only laugh at him, and not take him seriously. And if they did? They were likely to beat him up, just like they did anyone else who pissed them off.  
  
Remus climbed into the Gryfindor common room through the portrait of the fat lady, and found the whole common room abuzz. It seemed that James and Sirius were entertaining a group of second year girls. "Remus! Where have you been? We missed you at dinner!"  
"I was out for a walk. You know... just to get a breather and what not."  
"Remus, come here a second." Sirius walked over to the bottom of the stairs which led up to the boys' dormitory, leaving James to preform his "amazing" spells and charms in front of the dazzled, younger girls. "Moony, you do know that I love you right?"  
Remus nodded, not wanting to look into those blue eyes that were ever so inviting, yet so full of hate and evilness. "Do you love me, Remus?"  
"You know that you are just like a brother to me Sirius."  
"No. I mean... more than a brother. Like... like a lover."  
"Sirius, you know how I feel about you, okay? Can't we just leave it at that?"  
"You love 'him' though don't you?"  
"Who?"  
"That foul, loathsome, Snivelous. You love him."  
"Padfoot, why do you always do this? Can't I just be happy?" He turned and ran up the stairs two at a time. He then flopped onto his bed, and buried his face into his arms. His chest ached and his eyes begged to let tears fall upon his cheeks. But he thought better of it, as he heard footsteps come in behind him that without question, belonged to Sirius. He felt hands cover the top of his own, and he felt breathing on the back of his neck.  
Sirius moved to try and kiss him. But Remus pulled away. "Moony, what's wrong?"  
"Just... just go away. I don't want to deal with you right now ! Not after what you did!"  
"What did I do?"  
"Fuck off Sirius! You know damn well what you did! Don't play this game with me! You beat the living shit out of Severus all because you're a jealous prick! You and James both!" He stood and ran out of the room. He had to be on his own for a while. The anger within him was becoming too much. Maybe it was because the full moon was only a week away. Or maybe it was because he was not only feeling sympathy for Severus, but maybe he was feeling it for himself too. And the thought of that just about made him sick.  
He walked into the common room, and he heard James yell after him. "Moony! Where ya going?" But he ignored him, exited through the portrait hole and walked the corridors in the dark. It was well past sunset by now.  
Sirius had come back down the stairs and motioned for James to leave his company and come to talk in private. "Moony knows. We have to do something. Sev and him are getting too close. Severus told him what we did."  
"Should we do something to Severus then?" Sirius nodded with a small smirk playing on his lips. "Okay Padfoot, what ya got in mind this time?"  
  
Severus was sitting alone in the boys' dormitory. He sat and looked out the window as he worked on his Charms homework. Definitely not the highlight of his day. That was certain. He hated his Charms class. It was a waste of time is his view.  
Closing his book, and giving up on his homework, figuring he would finish it in study hall, he decided to go for another walk. The one around the grounds which he had had earlier that day had done him well. Maybe he just needed to clear his head once more before turning in and going to sleep.  
The halls were pretty much deserted. Which was good. Severus was pretty sure that the Marauders wouldn't be out walking at this time at night. Heaven forbid they do anything to get into trouble. Because surly they would get caught being as loud as they normally were. The care taker had his eye out for them anyways. Especially since they snuck out that one night and filled the great hall with stink bombs. When they were threatened of being suspended, they had decided to lay low for a while.  
The moon shone through the big windows and onto the floor. This time next week, the moon would be full, and his friend would be absent for a while. The thought of it upset him. He couldn't imagine what it was like to be forced into something you hated once every month, without having any say in the matter. He felt sympathy for the guy. He really did.  
It was then at that precise moment. A blanket came over him, and he was grabbed from behind. He struggled, and tried to get free, but couldn't. He heard familiar laughter. "Damn it Sirius! Let me go NOW!" Someone put their hand over his mouth from the outside of the blanket. "Shut up Severus!" came a hoarse whisper which of course belonged to James.  
He was dragged out of the castle, against his will, trying to struggle against them. But it wasn't any use. By now he knew this. He never won. It was a fact.  
Remus saw his two friends struggling to carry something outside into the dark. "What the hell are you guys doing?"  
"Moony, go away. This has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business." James was still covering Severus' mouth, but he tried to mumble to indicate that it was him.  
"Let him go! You guys stop it now! I am not kidding! I will go and get Dumbledore right now!"  
"Get Dumbledore, and we'll tell him about your little moonlit walks with the creep, and how you two snogged the other night in the forbidden forest."  
"I don't care! This is wrong! Stop it!"  
Sirius stopped, and looked at James. He laid Severus down on the ground and told James to keep him down. "Remus... Moony...." he came forward and kissed him. "I'm sorry." He in one motion pulled out his wand and mumbled an incantation, "Potrificus Totalus!" which kept him from being able to move or do anything about the situation.  
"Come on James. We've got to hurry."  
  
The next morning, Remus awoke to the sound of screams. The spell had been lifted from him and he was once again able to move. He sat straight up to see where the scream had come from. He found that he was still outside the castle, laying on the ground. He looked around until he saw a sixth year Ravenclaw standing near the lake almost in sobs. "Someone help!" she screamed.  
Remus got to his feet and ran to where she was. She then collapsed into tears and begged for help from him. Laying on the ground a few feet ahead of them, lay an unconscious, naked, black and blue, bleeding Severus Snape. "Bloody hell," whispered Remus, mostly to himself.  
He ran and fell to the ground next to Severus. He shook him, tried to get him to come around, but found that it wasn't going to happen. He looked back up to the crying girl. "Go get somebody. A professor, Dumbledore, any body. Now!" The girl ran, still sobbing. But Remus wasn't worried about her.  
He looked around, but his clothes weren't anywhere in sight. He knew that Sirius and James had done this. Where was he bleeding from? He couldn't tell. But there was blood on the blades of grass, mixed with the morning dew, and there was blood on his legs. He looked so fragile. Like if he were touched, he would shatter right in his hands. "Severus," he whispered. "Severus, it's me. Please, hang in there, alright? I'm going to get you help." His amber eyes looked him up and down, filling with tears, and wanting to release them.  
"Good Merlin!" Remus turned to find Dumbledore approaching. "Remus, move, please." The old man knelt down where Remus had just been. Remus reached up to feel his cheek and noticed that it was wet and that he had been crying without noticing.  
What happened next, happened so fast that Remus had no idea what was going on. His head hurt, and he was frightened, and tired, and.... what was the word? Damaged. Although he wasn't the one who had endured the blows, the hits, and probably the rape (knowing James and Sirius), he felt like he was the one that was hurt. He knew that on the inside he was just as badly beaten. But for both his and Severus' sakes he would have to be strong. He knew it wouldn't be easy though. 


	5. Chapter 5

Opening his eyes again, was something that really wasn't of much  
enjoyment. The room was so brightly lit that it was almost blinding.  
Severus winced from the excessive light. His body hurt all over. It  
hurt to move, even to breath. And it seemed that even the beating of  
his heart caused him pain.  
He laid there, not moving, hoping that someone would come along  
and answer all the questions that he had. But it seemed like that was  
going to happen. No one was around. 'Great,' thought the groggy  
Severus. 'I'm nearly killed, and no one is even around when I wake  
up.' It didn't seem like it was going to be a very promising day.  
  
Remus walked into the hospital wing to find Severus asleep in  
his bed. He walked over to him, and stood right over his body. No one  
else was in the ward. "Severus," he whispered as he ran his hand over  
the fragile boy's forehead. His eyes flicked open.  
"Remus!" As soon as he said that, he winced. It hurt to even  
talk.  
"Shhh." Remus grabbed Severus' hand and held it. "Don't talk. I  
know how much pain you must be in."  
Severus looked to the window. It was dark outside. He must have  
fallen back asleep. His stomach growled from lack of food.  
"Oh, Mr. Snape! I am so glad to see that you have finally woken  
up!" said the nurse. "Here, if you will take this potion, I can  
guarantee it will bring you a full night's sleep and when you wake up,  
you feel no pain what so ever." She brought over a bottle of potion,  
put some in a spoon, and fed it to him like a mother does a baby.  
His eyes again became heavy, and it became difficult to keep  
them open. "Go to sleep, Sev. I'll be here when you wake up." And with  
that final note, Severus closed his eyes and let sleep take him over.  
  
The common room was loud with talk when Remus walked back in  
from his visit with Severus. "What's going on?" he asked Peter.  
"Dumbledore's quite sure that it was students that did that to  
Snape. Everyone's in a ruckus trying to figure out who it was. They're  
quite upset actually..."  
Remus shuddered. He hoped that Dumbledore wouldn't be asking  
him. But he knew he would be. He had tipped him off about Severus  
having trouble with some students earlier that week. He knew he would  
be asked. It was only a matter of time.  
  
Severus only spent a few days in the hospital wing. Three  
actually. After that he was ready to return to the common room. But  
not yet classes. He had another 3 days off from classes to rest up a  
bit more. He was still pretty sore, even after all the potions he had  
taken.  
Remus was with him as much as he could be. He spent the three  
days in the hospital wing with him, but once he was moved back to the  
common room, he knew that he wouldn't get to see him as much. Only  
during meals and whenever he felt like leaving the dorm, would he see  
him.  
On his third day of resting up in the dorm, there was a knock on  
the door. Dumbledore walked in to find the boy sitting beside the  
window, looking out upon the grounds. "Hello, Severus. How are you  
feeling?"  
He shrugged, and continued to look out the window, not looking  
up at the headmaster once. "Severus," Dumbledore had walked over to  
him, and sat down next to him. "I am here to ask you to please come  
and talk to me in my office. Remus is there waiting now. Please,  
Severus." The boy silently nodded and stood up  
He followed the headmaster to his office. Going up the stairs,  
he felt his stomach churn. He wasn't really looking forward to having  
to talk to him about what had happened. Especially with Remus there.  
He knew that Remus had been present and had witnessed some things. But  
how much did he see? Would he rat is so-called-friends out?  
Going into the office, Severus found Dumbledore to have told the  
truth. There sat Remus Lupin. "Please, Severus, will you have a seat?"  
The older man went and sat behind his desk, as the two boys sat in  
front of him. "Now, Mr. Snape, you know that Remus here came to me not  
too long ago- about a week ago now- and told me that he feared for  
your safety, because of some other students. He did not tell me the  
names of the students, and he has not so far. But this must be dealt  
with. You do realize this, don't you?" Severus nodded again, and then  
looked up into Remus' eyes. Remus looked straight back at him, a smile  
appearing on his face. Severus knew that it hadn't been genuine  
though. It was a smile to try and show support, try to give him  
courage. But it didn't work.  
"Severus, if you were to walk out of this office right now,  
would you be in any trouble?" Severus sat quiet. "Would whoever did  
that to you, be able to do it again?" Severus nodded. "So it is a  
student?" Once again a nod.  
"Two," whispered Remus. "as a matter of fact."  
"Remus, would you like to tell your side of the story?"  
"Well... I mean, I don't know that much."  
"Obviously you  
know more than me.  
Please, share."  
"It's just that, I kind of saw a little bit of it. I wanted to  
stop it! I honestly did. But, I couldn't." Remus looked to the floor. It  
seemed like it was just as hard for him to talk about it, as it was for  
Severus to even think about it. "They uh... were pretty determined."  
"Yes. I could see that," spoke Dumbledore softly. "Mr. Lupin, I do not  
know whether or not you know the types of injuries that Severus endured.  
Severus, would you feel comfortable if he was to know?" Once again,  
Severus nodded as he felt his face get warmer, as he was sure it was  
getting red. "You may have noticed that when you found Severus the next  
morning, there was blood down his legs. Looks as if he had been... raped.  
The nurse examined him, and she found scars that would indicate that this  
is not the first time this has happened."  
Remus thought that he was going to start crying. He had guessed that's  
what had happened. But hearing it was so much worse. "Remus, did you know  
that this had been happening?" Remus took up Severus' method of answering  
and nodded in reply. "Why did you not say anything to anybody? Remus,  
they could be doing this to other people. We need to stop whoever is  
doing this. And I know that you know who it is. Please, please, can you  
tell me?"  
That was the last straw. Tears clouded Remus' vision, and soon fell  
down his cheeks. He couldn't say who it was. He couldn't abandon his  
friends. But then again, he would be abandoning Severus too. He didn't  
know what to do. "No. I can't right now headmaster."  
Dumbledore let out a long sigh. "Thank you Remus. If you would please  
give Severus and I some time alone..." Remus got up from his seat, dried  
his cheeks, and looked at Severus. He could tell that his friend was lost  
in both thought and fear. Would he be mad at him too, after what he had  
just done?  
Once Remus was out of the room, Dumbledore asked Severus the exact  
same question. "Can you please tell me who it was? Are you able to?"  
"No."  
"Do you want to talk about-"  
"No."  
"Severus, once again, if you need to talk about it, or you need  
someone, I'm here. Please, as soon as you think you can tell me who it  
was, let me know. Alright? Be on your way then."  
Severus got up from his seat and left the office. Climbing down the  
stairs he felt tears pulling at his eyes as well. It hurt so much to just  
think about it. As soon as he stepped off of the stairs, the first tear  
had fallen down his cheek. He found Remus standing at the end of the  
staircase, waiting for him. Remus walked forward after seeing that he was  
in tears, and embraced his friend tightly. Severus held on tight, his  
hand grasping the back of Remus' golden hair. Standing there, Severus  
sobbed into his friend's shoulder. He had needed that so badly. He needed  
to let it go. And now was the time.  
  
A/N: Okay, I think I have a pretty good idea of what I want to happen.  
The only problem is how I'm going to get it to happen. Well.... I have a  
few ideas on what could happen, and I'm gonna list 'em and then tell me  
what you think, because I need help writing this thing. Spoilers ahead so  
stop now, if you don't want to know what's gonna happen.  
  
Okay, I either want it that Sirius and James get caught in the act again,  
or I want it that this whole thing leads up to the whole conspiracy at  
the shrieking shack. I could have it that Severus thinks that Remus had  
betrayed him, when in truth, Remus had saved him somehow, and the whole  
thing never got straightened out between them... or something like that.  
Someone email me or review the story with the idea(s) and tell me what  
YOU think should happen. I'll read all of them and then make a decision  
on one with my own twist, or I'll combine them. I would really appreciate  
the help. Thanks guys! 


	6. Chapter 6

Severus was still feeling a little crummy, but he went back to his classes. He figured he couldn't miss anymore, or he would fall behind so far that it would become difficult for even him (one of the best students in his year) to catch up again. None of the students were saying anything to him, which he was very thankful for. He couldn't imagine if he would have come back to have them asking all kinds of questions. Obviously he would have just ignored them, their questions and all, and would not have even considered answering questions which they would have asked to set the rumors straight. 'Let the rumors spread. Let them think what they will,' thought Severus. He didn't have to worry about it. He, the faculty, and the marauders knew what had really happened. That's all that really mattered

Walking in to the great hall that evening, he sat at the Slytherin table, near the very end. Though he felt eyes upon him, no one said anything to him once again. He sat himself down and began to slowly eat, though he didn't have much of an appetite. His head was pounding and there was a weird feeling pulling at his stomach. He mostly just pushed his food around his plate, not eating much. When he finally got up to leave, and go lay down in the dorm, as he was walking in the corridor leading to the dungeons, he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He didn't really feel like turning around to find who he would have to talk to, but not to be rude, he did.

It was Remus. "How are you feeling?"

Severus merely nodded to indicate that he was feeling okay. Better anyways. "Would you like to talk about it with someone? I mean, I know it's recent and you may not feel like it, but if you would like someone to talk to, that's not an adult... I'm here for you Sev. You know that, don't you?" Once again Severus gave a short nod.

Remus looked all over Severus' face, trying to read what he was thinking-- feeling. But there was nothing there that would show. He had always been like that. Finally the nagging question that had been lingering on his lips, let go. "You havn't cut any more... have you?" Severus held out his arm, and his friend pulled up the sleeve, to find cuts there that couldn't have been made more than a day ago. "Oh Sev..." cried Remus. He wanted nothing more than to be able to help his friend. He would give anything to be there when he went to cut, so he could grab and steady his hands, take the blade from him, and give him a shoulder to cry on. He couldn't imagine the pain that Severus was feeling right now, on the inside, but it must be just as bad as it had been before.

Severus finally spoke up, startling Remus. "Have you talked to James and Sirius as of late?"

"No. I havn't. Well... I did yell at them for what they had done. But that was in the corridor earlier today, in between classes. One of the teachers heard my yelling though, and took me to Dumbledore... but other than that? No." He could see the look of relief come across his face. "After what they have done to you, I will not be surprised if I never talk to those bastards ever again." Remus paused. He wanted to ask this one question... but he didn't want to drive Severus away. That's what he was most afraid of. But he needed to ask. For his friend's safety. "What have you been cutting with? Where is it now?"

Severus looked him in the eyes, and could tell that he was genuinely worried about him. It was that kind of sympathy that made him resent people in general. "A knife that I have. And it's in my dormitory right now."

"Severus... can you bring it to me... please?"

He shook his head, and pieces of black hair that had fallen from the pony tail he usually kept his hair back in, sayed. The hair stayed in his face. And he didn't bother moving it. "Why not, love?" There was no answer. Severus just looked at the floor. "Why can't you bring it to me? I don't want you to do it any more. Please. I love you. Don't do this to yourself."

"Remus.... I can't stop."

Remus' heart hit the floor, along with his stomach. This is the one thing that he had dreaded to hear. "I can't stop"-- that alone made him worry. He couldn't stop. And he wouldn't stop. He knew this. But there was really nothing that he could do.

Walking into the Gryffindor common room, there were a bunch of third years spread out across the floor, working together on what looked like a potions essay. In the corner, James and Sirius were discussing the latest Quidditch match which had been that previous Saturday-- Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw had beat them 310-40.

"Oy! Remus, where ya been, mate?" Remus tried to ignore Sirius' outburst, and walked to the dormitory to try and retire for the night. "I said, Remus, where ya been?"

"Leave him alone Sirius."

"Whatever. Like anyone gives a shit about that damn werewolf anyways..."

Remus tried to act like he hadn't heard Sirius' last comment. But he had. And it hurt. _He _used to care for that damn werewolf. But it didn't matter any more. He climbed the stairs and then collapsed onto his bed. He pulled the bed curtains around him, to block himself from the room around him. There was no one else in there, but he wanted privacy none the less.

Severus. That is all that he could think about. Severus. The pain he must be feeling was one that Remus could never even imagine. Severus. The one person in this world that he had truly given his heart to. Severus. The one person he felt it was his jurisdiction to save. Severus.

Remus climbed out of his bed, and rummaged through some of his stuff. Finally he came upon what he had been looking for. A pocket knife that he had been given from his father on the day he got his Hogwarts letter. It had been his when he had been a boy at Hogwarts. ("This here knife has gotten me out of more fixes than you can even fathom," his father had told him.) Crawling back up into his bed, he studied the knife closely. He had yet to use it. And this seemed like the perfect time. Why not?

The next morning at breakfast, Remus looked for Severus. He had to find him. He had to show him. "Oy! Severus! Over here!" he yelled standing on his tip-toes and screaming above the rest of the crowd. Severus had spotted him, and made his way over to where he was standing. "Can we talk? Please?" Severus, once again, nodded.

They walked to a far corner of the great hall. "Listen. I thought it over thoroughly last night. See, I have this knife that my dad had given me before I came here. Last night I took it. And I was going to... well... do what you did. But you know what I discovered? I am strong Severus. As are you. You don't need to cut yourself any more. Please. I am begging you. You are strong enough to get over this. You really and trully are."

"But Remus... I told you. I can't quit. I _need_ it."

"Then I am forced to take action I'm afraid. Severus, I don't want to do it, but if you do this one more time, I will go to Dumbledore. You can't keep doing this, and go through it all alone. You just.... you can't." He reached out and put a hand on Severus' shoulder. He seemed to hear and understand him clearly, but he didn't give any sign of that. He merely nodded, and walked away. "Severus, stop." He obeyed. Remus walked up to him, and hugged him. "I love you, mate. I really do. You can quit this." He pulled away, and Severus turned and walked away.

"Remus, what the bloody hell are you doin'?!" Remus turned to see James coming at him. "Don't you touch him again." Sirius was standing by his side. Not too many students had noticed, and went on with their own business. It seemed that none of the teachers at the head table had heard or seen anything either.

"Snivelous!" hollared Sirius. He then walked up to him, when he saw that he had not turned back to look at him. He stood in front of him, keeping him from walking on. "Expect it when you least expect it." And with that, he left him.

That night, Severus sat in his dorm, on his bed, with the curtains around him closed. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He didn't want to be questioned. He didn't want to be seen. His knife sat in his hands. He considered carefully what he was about to do. But he knew that it would prove to Remus his love. He had to do it.

Carefully, and slowly, he took the knife and etched 'Moony' into his skin on his fore arm. The blood feel like a stream, down his arm. But he didn't care. The red liquid fell onto his black sheets. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything any more. But he cared about a certain somebody. Remus. He loved him. And recently he had treated him like shit. He had to prove his love to him.

When he finished, he decided that he would go find him to show him. But as he walked toward where the picture of the fat lady hung, it hit him. Tonight was the full moon. He would have escaped the castle to go to the shrieking shack.

But he needed to show him. He needed him to know. And no matter the danger he might face, he was going.

He walked down to the whomping willow. He had watched Remus from his bedroom window, do this many times before. He found the knot in the tree's trunk and pushed it in. When the tree stopped, he made his way into the secret passage way. He walked along until he came to the shrieking shack. He went inside. But before he could find Remus, he came upon a great black dog, and a giant deer.

Right before his eyes the two animals changed into two human bodies. He knew them. It was Sirius and James. Then he realized- Prongs and Padfoot. It made sense now. Over in the corner, Peter appeared. He hadn't seen what animal was in the corner, but he saw Peter come out from the dark. "Snape. What the bloody hell do you think you're doing here?"

"I'm looking for Remus."

"Looking for Remus? Here. Let me get him for you." Just then an animal Severus knew only as a werewolf from the many books he had read, came into the room. Sirius and Peter turned back into their animagus form. James remained.

The moon from the window reflected into Remus' eyes. If you could call him Remus. The gentle amber glow was gone, and was now replaced by a dark, never-ending pool, of black. This wasn't the Remus he knew.

Slowly, Severus took a step torwards him. It was at that exact moment that Remus lost control. He started for him, growling.

Severus froze, not knowing what to do. The dog and now visible rat remained off to the side, just sitting there watching. Severus could almost detect a smile playing on Sirius' lips. After a second of hesitation, James yelled out, "Severus move!" As soon as that reached Severus' ears, the deer lept in front of him, keeping between him and the werewolf who was supposedly is friend. His lover. His Remus.

Finally, Severus found his strength. He felt every muscle in his legs strain as he turned and ran as fast as he could back torwards the whomping willow. Once there, and outside of the passage way, he collapsed against the giant tree as it was still frozen.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a week after the shrieking shack incident. And Severus had tried as much as he could to forget that night. The image of his friend was worse than he ever could have imagined. It haunted his dreams. He saw the great beast, that was really his friend, charging him almost every night.

Finally Remus came back to school. Severus knew that he would be weak still from his transformation. But he wanted so badly to talk to him. He knew that it might be for the best. He could show him his forearm, what he had done. Even though it had been a week, the cuts had been so deep that there were still faint lines from where it was once deep and red.

Severus searched the great hall at lunch for Remus. He found him sitting by himself at the Gryfindor table. Daring not to sit down at that table which he loathed so much, he walked up behind Remus and tapped on his shoulder. The boy turned around. There were premature bags under his eyes, and he looked exhausted. "Severus. 'Lo there. Have a seat."

"No that's okay. I was wondering," Sev pulled at his shoulder length black hair from nervousness. "If we could possibly meet outside sometime tonight. I have something to show you."

There was a look on Remus' face that was difficult to read. But finally, after seeming to have thought about it, he smiled, and replied. "That would be wonderful. You want to meet me by the lake around... say... one?"

"Sounds great to me. See you then."

Remus watched as the love of his life walked away out of the great hall. His head suddenly felt light, and his stomach queezy. He was not looking forward to that night. He didn't want to have to tell him. But he knew that he should. It broke his heart as he thought about it. He turned back to his meal, trying to busy himself. But he found that he was no longer hungry, and grabbed his book bag to leave.

Severus lay in his bed, making sure that everyone was sleeping before he snuck out to meet Remus. He knew that maybe this wasn't such a good idea, out of fear that the marauders might show up, but he figured he would take the chance. And he had his knife tucked into his pocket, just in case.

He tried his best to keep quiet as he snuck outside, trying to stay in the shadows. He walked down the hill, and when he came to the lake, he found that his friend was sitting there already, just staring into the lake.

As Remus sat there, he thought to himself. He had shown up an hour early, just so he could think things over and make sure that what he was about to do was for the best. When Severus came up behind him undectected, he knew that he had gotten a glimpse of the tears that were streamed down his face. Remus quickly wiped them away, and stood up to look Severus right in the eye. "Could we maybe go a bit into the forest? Just so we won't be seen?" Remus followed his friend into the forest as if he was walking to his execution.

When they were just a bit into the forest, they found their favorite spot, and the two boys sat down together. They sat indian style, facing one another. Remus was glad that it was somewhat dark in there. That way Severus couldn't see his tears that were still streaming down his face. He didn't talk, so that Severus couldn't detect any kind of a quiver.

Severus was excited to show him his forearm. So he started off right away. "I did something last week. That was the reason that I came to see you at the shrieking shack." He held out his left arm, pulled up his sleeve, and with his right hand spoke "Lumos" as the wand was held there. A light emerged and Remus could see the word "Moony" carved right there into his arm.

That was the tip of the ice berg. Although he had already been crying, he now let out great sobs. "Remus," he heard Severus whisper. "I love you." Severus got onto his knees, and came forward. He put his hand behind Remus' head and kissed him gently. Remus kissed him back. It was so sweet and passionate. The kiss became harder, and things started to progress. By the time they were laying on the ground though, Remus remembered what he needed to do. It broke his heart. Severus' lips were so soft and lucious. He didn't want to pull away.

He couldn't tell him tonight. Tonight they would be together just one more time. And then he would have to tell him.

A/N: A short chapter, but the next one should be coming soon. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. School has started and everything has been really hectic. But I promise, I won't take so long to get the next one up. I pretty much have this planned out, but I could always change my mind! So, like always, reviews and/or suggestions are MORE THEN WELCOME!


	8. Chapter 8

1

It was dark outside, and it was cold. The first real frost of the year would hit tonight. The wind that blew through the bare trees made a whistling sound. It was an empty sound. A sound that Remus knew. He knew it, because he felt it within his heart.

Sitting outside of the entrance to the Slytherin dormitory, he had his face in his hands. He tossed over in his mind over and over again, the decision that he had made. He knew in his heart that he had to do this. But his mind begged to differ. He loved Severus. And he knew that he did. But his heart told him, if he truly loved him... he would let him go. And rid him of the pain and torment that was caused by their continuation of their relationship. The marauders were still pretty harsh about him. The last thing Remus wanted was a repeat of the last time they had gotten a hold of him.

The entrance opened, and out stepped Severus, dressed in all black, with his hair pulled back out of his face. He saw Remus sitting, and walked to where he was. He could see the troubled look on his face, and his stomach dropped. Remus stood, and the two were now eye-level. "Remmy... are you okay?"

He shook his head. Coming forward, he brought his lips to Severus', praying that no one would appear. "Look... we need to talk, Severus." The tone in his voice scared him.

"Okay... then talk."

"Well... let's go sit down some where." The two walked to corridor, and they found an empty dead-end, and sat against the wall together. There was hardly anyone else out. Only the upper class students were permitted out this late. Remus grabbed Severus' hand, and held I in his own. He looked into the dark brown, almost black, eyes that sat in front of his own. It was painful. But he swallowed the tears, and coached himself to go on.

"I'm scared for you, Severus. The marauders... they still want to hurt you. And they're furious about us being friends. I don't want you to get hurt. The last thing I want is for what happened last time, to happen again. I think that... if we... didn't see each other any more... it would help calm them down maybe..." A tear fell down his cheek, but he kept his composure, even though his voice had cracked with the last sentence.

Severus looked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. His heart was pierced. "No, Remus.... I would take that a million times more to just be with you..."

"I can't do that Sev. I can't let you get hurt again. I just can't stand it. It hurts me as much as it hurts you." He put his hand up onto the side of Severus' face, and kept it there, feeling the wetness of his tears. "I've thought about this a while. This needs to be done Severus. I'm sor-"

"I love you Remus. Please... don't do this to me," he whispered.

"I have to Severus... for you. I love you more than life itself. That is why I am doing this. Please... believe me." His chest began to heave, as he wept. Severus started to do the same. He then leaned over, placing himself in Remus' arms, and laying his head to his chest. Remus stroked the back of his hair, trying to calm him, yet too upset himself to do much good.

The two sat there in each other's arms well into the night.

After that night, they separated and went their own ways. The marauders quit their little "game", but continued picking on Severus. Well up until they graduated. Remus and Severus never spoke again the remaining school years, though it hurt both of them to do so.


End file.
